Comfortable being uncomfortable

I have had a revelation. 

This is never going to be easy.

I'm not used to that.  I'm used to sailing.  Smoothly. 

And now I know those days are over, for the time being anyway.

But I also realize I'm never going to get anywhere in this game without really and truly pushing myself, and dealing with the resulting uncomfortableness that entails.  And the self-doubt and frustration and anger and the urge to drink and smoke heavily.  Especially that urge.

This process is inevitably going to entail struggle.  I'm learning slowly and begrudgingly that it's a righteous struggle that will pay off in proportionate dividends.  Otherwise nobody would ever put themselves through this rollercoaster.

Pressure

I thought I knew pressure.  Now I'm learning steno, that is, if I don't explode first.

Dr. Seuss dictation results

Not even Dr. Seuss is fun anymore.  
As if anyone talks like that anyway.... 
I never thought Dr. Seuss would kick my ass.
But he did.

Fallen behind

My worst fears have come true: I've fallen behind.

This is officially not fun anymore.

After a close, dear friend's death in May and then spending a good week getting over illness, I have fallen behind.  If it weren't for my instructor's patience and understanding, I would be in jeopardy of failing rather than falling behind. 

Harsh words have been spoken.  Tears have been shed.  It has not been pretty.

Every bit of momentum I had has been sucked out of my sails. 

But I'm still in it.  I will get through this if I have to claw and scrape my way through.    

Still grunting after all these years

Stenography: Really professional codependency?

The following comes from a popular website listing signs of codependent people:

- Feel most comfortable when they are giving

- Find needy people to take care of

- Try to please others instead of themselves

- Have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility

- Try to be all things to all people all the time

- Have difficulty saying "no" and/or setting boundaries

- Feel empty and bored when they are not involved in a crisis

- Seek out chaos and then complain about it

- Tend to have a self-esteem that is connected to "doing"

 - Are afraid of making mistakes

- Try to be perfect, and expect others to be perfect

- Have self-blame and put themselves down

 - Must be in control at all times

Hits a little close to home, don't it?

Would you wear that to a job?

Jeans have become a staple of fashion in our society.  Jeans Friday at the office seems like it's been around forever, not just a couple of decades.

But I never wear jeans to school.

First and foremost, denim is not the softest, kindest fabric to begin with.  Denim was initially designed for the working man in the fields, mines and factories.  Now, people with too much money spend hundreds of dollars on the same comparable pants I can find at the thrift store for $4.

At school?  Really?

This profession involves a lot of sitting.  Jeans and their stiff, unforgiving waistlines are not conducive to sitting comfortably, especially compared to a softer, stretchier fabric.  End of story.  If your jeans are that comfortable to wear when sitting, they're too broken in for school.

But more than anything, I want to be perceived as a professional.  I want to show my teachers, staff, and guest speakers and prospective future employers that I know what it means to dress as a professional.

Some of my fellow students' attire includes spaghetti-strapped camisole tops with exposed bra-straps, second-skin-tight leggings, and "fashionably" ripped shirts.  Some students look like they're going either to the club or to Walmart, but definitely not to school.  I'm not THAT old, but when did people start thinking it was okay to dress sexy or sloppy in a professional environment?

Inside Prince Institute

This video was NOT included in my promotional materials.  My theory teacher even makes a brief appearance!  And believe it or not learning steno is more fun than it looks here, I promise....

Wrist Stretching Part I

The first of an indefinite ongoing series to preserve your writing tools.

There are two ways of meeting difficulties

You alter the difficulties or you alter yourself to meet them. 

  
- Phyllis Bottome 

Briefs and phrases are my friends.  Briefs and phrases are my friends.  Briefs and phrases are my friends......my tricky, unpredictable, pain-in-the-ass friends.....

Bart rips on the court reporter

Bart: Ladies and gentlemen, I am a big dummy with a stupid job. I write down whatever they say like a big dummy would. Could the court reporter read that back?

Court Reporter: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm a big dummy with a stupid job?! Hey!

Bart: HA HA HA!

Ergonomic stenography

Looks weird, yet functional.....will probably go as far as ergonomic keyboards.

Most interesting witness alive

Why steno?

First of all, steno is not court reporting.  Okay, it's mostly court reporting, but even most court reporters are freelancers doing depositions.  So steno is many things.  It's captioning, it's CART, it's wherever and whenever there needs to be a guardian trusted to preserve the official record.  An honor really.

So I look at learning this skill as the key to my freedom, financial and otherwise.  I can't wait for the day when I get my certification and can realistically fantasize about where I want to go and how I want to preserve the record - in a court room, a law office, in my slippers in my house watching tv.....

A recent speaker at our school said something that got me all excited, she said that as the guardian of the record,  "You control the room."  Aah, the power..... Now she said this in the context of an unruly deposition where communication broke down and she was forced to maintain the civility, but I like to think of it as license to keep the peace and make sure people don't degenerate to the level of....t.v. pundits.  Maybe need to put more thought into captioning.....

And last but certainly not least, steno makes me feel good about myself.  It's a real accomplishment and not something many people can do.  Conquering the challenge of theory and speed is a warm fuzzy feeling. 

When it's time to walk away

- When you realize you never knew you are dyslexic.

- When the letters start dancing on screen and page.

- When you realize that pulsing sound is coming from inside your head.

- Your spelling skills degenerate to a first grade level.

- When your curved fingers start balling into fists.

- When you start yelling at your writer.

- When you realize just how light your writer is and how easily it could be thrown through a window.

Don't be afraid

of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still.

Chinese Proverb

Get to work

The greatest accomplishment

is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall.

- Vince Lombardi

Faith

is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

This is how I feel learning theory.   

Healing aches and pains

I recently got a bad poke from a student phlebotomist and experienced some nerve damage and a range of scary pains.  Knocked me off my game for the past couple of weeks, I'm just now gettin back into my groove.  These products helped my healing along, I can't recommend them enough.  They work on any kind of trauma - muscles pain, bruises, small invasive stab wounds, you name it....